Microsoft Broke Windows

Tick Tock

(no, not TikTok)

In the world of major software development, it's fairly common for a product's chain of releases to alternate their focus between introducing new features and improving stability. We call that the tick tock release cadence. It's an apt metaphor. Each tick has a corresponding tock that follows it and they each do a specific task inside a clock.

As it applies to software development cycles, there's no consensus on which word means what. e.g. "tick" doesn't necessarily mean a feature release nor does "tock" mean a stability release. It simply means that a product's release cadence alternates between the two states, feature releases vs. stability releases.

This tick tock cadence organically became a thing because new features often introduce bugs which may not be noticed until the feature is in widespread use. So now those bugs need to be fixed, and that's what the next release aims to do. When things are relatively stable again, then it's time to introduce more new (and buggy) features that, too, need to be fixed in yet another stability release. Cat and mouse, I suppose could also apply.

So we might say that Windows follows a "tick tock" release cadence. Not exactly, but close.

But here I'm going suggest that term could also loosely apply to how the various versions of Windows have been received by Microsoft's customers. Because, interestingly, it does kind of resemble the tick tock cadence, if imperfectly.

Windows 1.x and 2.x were early versions that weren't widely used so I'm ignoring these two.

So with that in mind, here's a (sort of) tick tock cadence aligned with versions of windows that people liked and didn't like.

Windows 3.x, yes, it was well received.

Windows 95, yes, it was well received. Introduced 32 bit architecture, the Start Menu, long file names (a major improvement over 8.3 naming), Plug and Play, and others. This was the UI model that would prevail for decades to come.

Windows 98, yes, it was well received. Solidified and stabilized many of the new features Win 95 introduced.

Windows ME, no, it was not well received. Not exactly hated, more like meh. Real hatred wasn't widespread just yet.

Windows 2000, yes, it was well received.

Windows XP, yes, it was well received, and also holds the honor of being the longest running MS OS without a new, replacement OS being introduced.

Windows Vista, no, it was not well received. And that's too bad because it wasn't entirely or even mostly Vista's fault. Vista really was ahead of its time with its 64 bit architecture. It was also somewhat heavier. The capabilities of most mid-level computers in Jan 2007, when Vista was released, wasn't great.

These XP class computers were too slow, didn't have enough RAM, and vendor driver support for 64-bit Vista, in particular, was lacking. Most of this would be fixed in a couple of years as hardware caught up and vendor-provided drivers were solidified, but the damage to Vista's reputation was done.

Windows 7, yes, it was very well received. It was a smashing success. Underneath the covers, Window 7 is very much Vista. But Microsoft heeded the lessons they learned from Vista UI pains and fixed them. But, just as important, hardware and 64-bit driver support had caught up by the time Windows 7 was released. This all made Windows 7 look really good. Windows 7 enjoyed the same, or better, reputation that XP enjoyed.

Windows 8, no, it was not well received at all. People bloody hated it. This was arguably Microsoft's biggest launch disaster. Not only had Microsoft introduced a completely revamped desktop UI, the so-called Metro design language, they also, shockingly, removed the start button -- and all without proper messaging on what people were supposed to do. Windows 8.1 fixed some of that, but the 8.x branding was toast. MS had to move on.

And even though it was subtle at the time, not in your face, Windows 8 represents the inflection point when online accounts started showing up. This was a major step.

Windows 10, yes, but with caveats. It certainly wasn't the dumpster fire that Vista and 8 were, but it brought its own criticisms as well, especially regarding increased advertising, telemetry, and pushing users to create a cloud-tied account. Many users stayed on Windows 7 as long as they could.

Windows 11, no, not well received. Again, not as bad as Vista or 8, but worse than 10, which wasn't exactly great, either. Win 11 dropped support for many perfectly good computers that were as little as 3-4 years old, generating a tidal wave of e-waste criticism that has only somewhat abated in the mean time -- but has now reignited due to Windows 10 recently reaching end of life.

These later versions of Windows, like 10 and even more so with 11, are laden with processes and services that only benefit Microsoft. What do I mean by that?

Why Windows 11 is so broken

Telemetry

The original definition of telemetry is when a device communicates certain information about itself to another process or device. This functionality has been around for decades, even going back to the mainframe era. That info was usually related to device health, operational status, and maybe crash reports that help developers fix bugs. It was rarely, if ever, identifiable to the user of the device.

Later on, telemetry started including feedback on how a user interacted with the product, e.g. what features they used, struggled with, or did not use. That helps a software company focus on improving useful features and removing features no one cares about. Again, this was anonymous. And, honestly, it was valuable to the development of good, useful software.

But today, telemetry is used in far more insidious ways. With the architecture already in place, why not monetize it to make even more money? Thus Windows, and most large software products, report on a wide range of non-anonymous user activity to their respective vendors -- and it's often sold to other parties.

Product Upsells

Windows 11 pummels users with endless advertising for Microsoft's other products, including OneDrive, Office 365, Copilot, Xbox, Defender, Teams, Bing, and numerous other 1st party products. It's relentless. Many of these products have their own subscription costs while some are free to use. But all of them are designed to entangle you into the ecosystem.

They don't politely ask once, either. You will be periodically reminded they exist and offered a trial.

Third Party Advertising

The start menu, search results, and the "News and Interests" widget (which is on by default and annoyingly activated merely by hovering the mouse over it) are all loaded with advertising and sponsored content. Sponsored content is a type of paid advertising but without a specific call to action. Maybe it's a click-bait link to a news story.

The search box is particularly offensive. Imagine you are wanting to do a search for a file or program on your own computer. Maybe that's why you chose the built-in search option instead of opening Google in a browser, right? But then you see your search result filled with 3rd party advertising competing for attention. It's infuriating.

Cloud Tied Accounts

Unless you know the geeky workarounds, the Windows 11 OOBE* will force you to create, or log into an existing Microsoft account. Microsoft very badly wants you to do this because that online account is key to more easily enrolling and entangling you into their cloud ecosystem.

* Out Of Box Experience -- This is what you see when you first power on a new computer or device, fresh from the box.

Regarding all the preceding, Microsoft really did "turn up the volume to 11". (if you know you know)

Performance declines due to all this extra bloat are obvious and apparent. And especially so on computers that had originally shipped with Windows 10 but that were subsequently upgraded to 11, often without full disclosure or informed consent from users. That's a perfect A/B comparison right there!

Now What?

Windows 11 is still the mainstream version today but its reputation has only gotten worse. It's truly an advertising delivery platform masquerading as an operating system. Hobbyists have found ways to tamp down 11's consumer-hostile aggressiveness, making it a tolerable choice. Some hobbyists have figured out how to install a still-supported, consumer-forbidden version of Windows 10 and 11 (called the Long Term Servicing Channel*) to escape the bloatware and endless update conveyor belt.

* LTSC is a release channel for MS operating systems that deemphasizes feature updates for the sake of mission critical stability and lengthens EOL (End Of Life) when all support is formally discontinued. LTSC editions are only available for certain enterprise users and only then for certain purposes.

But for the average consumer, Windows is still a nauseating, maddening experience. I wish I could say that MacOS would be the savior here, but alas, it's just swapping one headache for another far more expensive headache.

But there is good news: Most of Microsoft's consumer abuses in Windows can be fixed. Here's where having an I.T. pro you can call is useful. There's many tweaks that I can perform to disenshittify your experience while keeping you on consumer-supported versions.