If you are my client and I've ever helped your remotely, chances are you've heard me say "take me off the speaker" -- sometimes with a "please".

I get it. People don't want to hold a phone to their ear for anything longer than a very brief conversation. But using the loud speaker is maximally suboptimal -- literally any other way is better.

Why is that?

Let us count the ways...

Lack of privacy. Using the speaker, everyone around you can hear the other party. That's bad etiquette as the other party expects they are having a one-to-one conversation. They can't see into the space you are in and so aren't expecting to be overheard. I've also been known to drop the F bomb, erm, occasionally. You probably don't want everyone in earshot hearing that.

Annoying to others around you. Back in my corporate days there was a fellow in a nearby cubicle who always used his speakerphone, much to the annoyance of the dozen or so workers within earshot, including me. He refused to stop, didn't give two shits that others were significantly bothered. Now imagine several employees, all using the loud speaker while on the phone. Yeah.

Same thing in public wherever that happens to be. No one wants to hear your conversation. It's rude and only serves to demonstrate one's lack of social awareness.

Difficulty for the other party. When you use a speakerphone, the mic is often 2-3 feet away from your mouth. Your voice sounds distant to the other party and is harder to understand. Ambient noise becomes more noticeable as well because your voice isn't as strong at that distance.

You may not realize, but the SPL (Sound Pressure Level) of your voice drops off dramatically (inverse square of the distance) as the mic moves farther away from your mouth. Just 2-3 feet away reduces the SPL by over 50 percent. That's significant.

Fluid conversation not possible. Speakerphones generally do not allow smooth two-way conversation like the handset does. That's because the circuitry is designed to prevent an audio feedback loop. That is, sound from the speaker being picked up by the mic and creating a self-reinforcing feedback loop that causes squealing and an accelerating echo.

The circuitry must temporarily mute or attenuate input from the mic to prevent that from happening. And that is what wrecks fluid two-way conversation.

Without that, it's difficult to interrupt, interject, giggle, or make other clue-giving sounds. If one party is delivering a monologue the other party often cannot interrupt to make a point, ask for clarification, or simply to repeat a word. That's a problem. I've actually hung up and called back when I could not get a word in edgewise.

When you are using the phone in a way that the sound is being emitted directly into your ear, such as 1) holding the phone or handset against your ear, 2) using earbuds, or 3) using a proper headset with a boom mic, then audio feedback doesn't happen. Therefore, the circuitry doesn't have to mute the mic, which makes a full duplex conversation possible. Full duplex is also called TWS (Two Way Simultaneous). It means both parties can hear each other simultaneously.

You can't really do that on a loud speaker because of the muting needed to prevent audio feedback. So, using a speaker results in a TWA (Two Way Alternate) convo. That simply means that you must take turns to talk to avoid the other party from being silenced.

TWA is an unnatural way to talk to someone. It significantly disrupts smooth flow, making the conversation tedious, difficult, and repeating a lot of words. That's why the phone system was designed for TWS conversations way back many decades ago.

So there you are. Now you know why the speaker option sucks while on the phone and why the other party doesn't like it whether they say so or not.

What should I do then?

If you frequently engage in longer convos on the phone, like I do when remotely supporting my clients, then you might consider using ear buds (Bluetooth, usually) or a proper headset that puts a speaker directly on one or both ears and places the mic near your mouth on a flexible boom. Or, at the very least, use a single-ear Bluetooth accessory.

Something like this...

https://amazon.com/dp/B0B4VXHBNP

or

https://amazon.com/dp/B0FV364FQ2